Sunny Sunday

Today was going so well. We got up (good start:)) around 6.45 which was a lie-in by Babe's standards. Had breakfast, made animal noises, piled up and knocked down plastic bricks a few times (Other Half), put several loads of washing through, cleaned the kitchen, cooked, washed hair, hoovered and cleaned the windows (me)... you can picture the scene. Except no, you can't, because we had glorious smiles on our faces! This was our first DIY-free weekend in months. Life seemed delirious and carefree. We sipped coffee in between our respective tasks, chatted about nothing, relished the cuteness and clearly intellectual outputs of our offspring, and even had time for a bit of the other while he had a nap midday. Gosh!

After the obligatory 'see how much of the surface area of the kitchen we can spread our lunch over' feast - wrestle with the Babe for his spoon and somehow he always wins, catapulting whatever's on it into your hair (well, they do say they're born with enough grip to hang off washing lines) - we decided to go into town. The excitement in the car was tangible. A day out with mummy AND daddy!

And you know what? We had quite a nice, argument-free afternoon. Didn't really do anything, but it was nice. Different. Strange :)

And then it was time to come home. We shouldn't really have left it so late. Babe had been happily helping me choose carving knives in TKMaxx when he suddenly started screaming with hunger, in the way that only babes suddenly can, and a packet of organic raisins wasn't going to cut the mustard. So we ran to the car, in a loving, nearly hand-in-hand, smug, 'we're a family and we've spent the day outside the house together and we're still alive' kind of way.

Then Other Half (who had been rummaging in his pockets in an exaggeratedly casual way) asks me for the key. My brow darkens. 'Why the f**k would I have the f**king key?' I reply. 'I can't drive, I have no pockets, and you parked the car while I went on to the shops with Babe.'

I can see in his face that he is tempted to argue with me on the technicalities of whether I can actually drive or not, but fortunately he applies restraint and we quickly decide to re-trace our footsteps in search of said key.

Where had we been? Well, Babe had messed himself as soon as we arrived at the shops, so first we'd gone to the baby change facilities. No key there. Then we'd gone to buy some water as I was thirsty. No key at the newsagent's. Then we'd waited outside the lifts for a while, to go up to the third floor to take some clothes back. No key in either lift. In case you were wondering, we'd ended up accidentally getting out at the second floor and having to wait for another one, and then it turned out that the shop in question was, actually, on the second floor after all so we had to go back down again. Then I'd needed the loo. No key there. The woman in the cubicle I'd used had great boots though. Then we'd chatted with a woman who tried to flog me a gel-filled bottle heater for 20 quid outside Santa's grotto - no key there. Then had gone to travel agent so that Other half could get brochures on Florida, which I tolerated as people have to be able to dream, but frankly I have no intention of ever visiting the USofA, and no key there, so that left TKMaxx. I told you we'd had a great afternoon.

By this time, we were being warned that the centre was closing in five minutes, so we decided to split. Other Half went to TKMaxx while I went to press the Help button on the ticket machine. Thirty seconds later, I'd arranged to have a camera put on the car, to get a taxi home, for Other Half to pick up car in morning (lucky he's not working, but that's another story) and for the all-night fee to be waived. Other Half had, meanwhile, got himself stuck inside the kids helicopter outside TKMaxx - god knows how he got one of the blades tangled in his rucksack but now I know where they were while I was in the lav - and an angry-looking security guard was trying to get him out, in a 'rabbits and all his friends and relations' kind of way, while straggling shoppers gave them bemused stares.

And he hadn't found said key. We can't even have a sodding simple boring afternoon without something happening that you'd prefer not to...