In which I sneak behind enemy lines

My mum has pointed out that probably a great deal of my stress in anticipating the Brothers' arrival was down to the fact that I was expecting another two like OH to arrive. Which would have been enough to kill anybody. As it happens, they are quite different and if I'd been given the chance to make ten requests of them before they came it would have been the following, some of which have been met:

1 To take the room I found for them. They did.
2 To cook for themselves because I am a vegetarian and not up to much in the kitchen, at least where Greek food is concerned. They did, and they brought an Albanian cookery book for OH with them. (We already had it. And several Greek cookery books in English. But this was a sweet thought.)
3 To be prepared to learn English. They are very prepared and did attempt to go to lessons.
4 To understand that I don't expect us to live in one another's pockets. I believe they understand this now.
5 To pay their own way. Hum.
6 Not to moan about how awful it is here. I suspect they are freezing and hate it. But they have not moaned to me. But then they are not speaking to me.
7 To establish themselves before getting anyone else over. I think this is now unlikely.
8 Not to make too many demands in terms of time etc on OH. I think he feels he's done what he can and has exhausted his contacts. He is acting as though they are barely on his mind but I think that is in recognition of the fact that their presence has driven a huge and possibly irreparable wedge between us and that this is in large part his responsibility. I suspect he wants them gone. The proof of this pudding will be how he handles my request that they sort out a longer-term plan for the room etc before they book tickets for Athens. And how he responds to my request that they both leave together.
9 Not to ask to drive our car, uninsured. As far as I know this has not happened.
10 Not to run up a huge phone bill. Likewise.

I suggested in my last blog post that I might attempt to present the case for the Brothers' being here from their point of view. I would imagine that their thinking has developed along the following lines*:

*Translated from Greek and Albanian, some of which might reflect the opinion of only one of the brothers at any given point in time and which is entirely a figment of my imagination, but based on things they have said and my experience of their family and culture:

-- We don't have work here in Greece or in Albania so it is only reasonable that our brother who is living in England should try and help us out.

-- He is our younger brother and owes us one because we are the big boys.

-- We will find our own place to live in in England. How expensive can it be? I will not live with that hussy anyway.

-- We have lots of skills. Together with our other brother we will start our own business and make a lot of money.

-- We all live together when we are in difficulty, that's what family are for.

-- We will help them do up their house and help with the kids. I will teach them to play football.

-- I will win money on the football pools, I know all the English teams and who scores the goals.

-- It will be nice for our brother to have our help and company.

-- We will make a success of it and then help all the others, too.

-- We can cope with any weather.

-- We moved to Greece and learned Greek, we can move to England and learn English.

-- It can't be that hard, our neighbour's friend's cousin's brother has done it and it is working out fine.

-- If he (OH) has done it, then surely to God we can?

-- Fu*k me, it's freezing.

-- We are prepared to cope with any circumstances in order to prosper.

-- They drink this cat-p*ss ten times a day?

-- We will accept the help from them that we would expect to give them if the situation was reversed.

-- Sheesh she's a bitch.

-- I told you so.

-- Mad bitch! Screw loose.

-- Our brother really needs our help.

-- This is her fault. If she let us live with them until we found our feet we wouldn't be paying through the nose for this squat.

-- All we want is some work. Why is this so much to ask for? The world is an unfair place.

-- The English plundered our country's gold.

-- I want some new trainers.

-- I miss my wife and kids. Does she think we're here for the fun of it? She has everything she wants and she can't find room in her heart for us.

-- Tart.

-- This is just a question of time, we must hold fast and things will turn out ok in the end. That lovely English woman married to the Albanian who lives down the road said so.

***

Ok, ok. I know some of that was mean and discriminatory. Later in the week, I promise, I'll be fair. Today, I needed to have a laugh in order to divert my tears.